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The Rants Macabre

by DarrenTy

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1.
Hold your breath, hold tight /1/ outta breath, outta sight /2/ turn ‘em off—kill the lights /3/ --better pray, not you tonight-- /4/ Evil here has taken a shape /5/ this escalated at an alarming rate /6/ —Don’t go upstairs, when you’re tryin’ to escape /7/ you know better, you’ve studied the tape /8/ midnight movies, video rentals /9/ sleep-over parties, no parentals /10/ hand over face - looking between your /11/ fingers spread so you see the screen /12/ Of all the films, and lessons learned /13/ late fees earned with no returns /14/ VHS roll of the dice /15/ slice of vice made to entice /16/ worth the price of your life’s stryfe - when horror movies saved your life twice /16/ More than a test you’ve been studying for /17/ with the highest stakes and the bloodiest gore /18 / dripping blood pooled on the floor /19/ like the sounds of fear, in a movie score What’s it gonna take to bring you down / what’s it gonna take to save the town? / It could take more than all you got / so steady your nerves—and ready your shot / shoot when you gotta gun / fight when you gotta fight / run when you gotta run / Burn when you got a light / shoot when you gotta gun / fight when you gotta fight / run when you gotta run / Burn when you got a light / All your nightmares now have a home /01/ but you’re all alone - that ringing’s the phone /02/ chill to the bone runs up your back /03/ like a heart attack or Willard’s rats /04/ or left to Lovecraft—in the walls /05/ or waves of blood flowing down the halls /06/ zombies up in Monroeville Mall /07/ or BIRDS collecting before the fall /08 Who’s your favorite serial killah /08/ serial thrilla, soundtrack chiller /09/ pillar of the genre who made a mark /10/ changed the game from the franchise start /11/ what about you, what gets under your skin? /12/ what knocks you out like a hit on the chin? /13/ Gives you the chills, or Vertigo spins /14/ doesn’t take much maybe dorsal fins /15/ breaching the water, jaws of death /16/ or a xenomorph rolling out of a nest /17/ Brody - Ripley, making a mess // the Orca’s down, Nostromos next /18/ From out of nowhere, he’s hunting you down /1/ —from the bottom of Crystal Lake where he drowned— /2/ the place mom-straight lost her crown /3/ when Jason is coming, you’ll know by the sound... /4/ —unbound, part 3, red and blue 3D /5/ as for me growing up, with cable TV /6/ I learned to love, the frightening freaks /7/ God’s and monsters, family tree /8/ free the beast, let it out /9/ fly that flag, and scream and shout /10/ loud with a crowd, day after the 12th /11/ it’s only a movie, keep telling yourself /12/ off the shelf, DVDs… classics mixed with New Release /13/ Exorcist with his expertise /14/ or Candyman with a mouth of bees /15/ A Michael Myers killing spree /16/ or Hannibal Lecter teasin’ Clarice /17/ Freeze the Thing and bury it deep- /18/ bringing you the show, every week
2.
Tonight every lesson learned, gonna see a return /1/ the stakes-have never been higher, like the fires we burn /2/ concerns now are survival, think on your feet /3/ focus on your rival, don’t miss a beat /4/ so load up-roll up, come with the heat /5/ if movies are your bible, you’re in for a treat /6/ If I had to pick a favorite, again and again /7/ they’d be tales of paranoia, shot through a skewed lense /8/ Body Snatchers invade, and spores descend—/9/ or communities with secrets they’d die to defend /10/ maybe isolated, stranded, gonna need a new plan /11/ inspector in Summerisle, trapped in Wicker Man /12/ or McCreedy in The Thing as a Carpenter fan—/13/ finding something in the ice with a long life span /14/ it wants to get out, so it looks like a man /15/ like Roddy Piper in They Live, trying on his Raybans /16/ finding evil empires, invisible hands /17/with a finger on the pulse, and our adrenal glands /18 What just happened, where am I, who are you? /1/ the last thing I remember it was a full moon—/2/ hell broke loose, a minute too soon /3/ and everyone scattered, just like a cartoon /4/ no one was prepared, monsters broke through and spread—/5/ it was the thing of nightmares, all pouring outta my head /6/ that’s right, it was me - the reason we’re all covered in red /7/ enveloped in carnage, like a bleeding waterbed /8/ ‘cause outta my subconscious came the evil that resides /9/ inside I’ve tried to hold back the tide /10/ but monsters are my friends, they just wanted to say hi /11/ in their own way with their claws and their knives /12/ I get it now, I feel bad, it cost a lotta lives /13/ next time I’ll think twice, before I let ‘em out /14/ gotta defeat ‘em-beat ‘em, lead ‘em into their own traps- /15/some are waiting in my dreams, so I only take naps /16/ it’s a good thing I was taking notes—down here where it floats /17/ or sinking in the sunken place— with suburban white folks /18/ a bread-trail of entrails to find my way out /20/ this got out of hand, now I really have my doubts Some people hate scary movies, they avoid ‘em, not me /01/ not me, I like to analyze and sort ‘em /02/ seek ‘em out, shout about, start the—recorder /03/ is it weird asking for gore in my order /04/ ‘cause I’m a vegetarian who likes to see blood--/05/ imagine surfing on the Shining’s elevator flood /06/ maybe too much, like the lady in the tub? /07/ laughing like a maniac-who really needs a scrub— /08/ whether monsters, zombies, psychos, or ghosts /09/ xenomorph, face huggers looking for a host /10/ or fine young cannibals trying to spread you on their toast /11/ we all have favorites, what scares you the most /12/ Italian slashers— extremities in France /13/ or POV horror made with micr0-finance /14/ really every flavor, you’ll never try ‘em all /15/ kaiju monsters, Godzilla standing tall /16/ on the shores of J-Horror, waiting to appall—/17/ the train to Busan just slowed down to crawl /18/
3.
4.
Monster 02:56
Hands over your mouth, don’t make a sound /1/ think back over every clue that you found /2/ time’s up, he’s riding up releasing the hounds /3/ he’s only one man, but somehow he surrounds /4/ are you stepping up, attack and rebound /5/ whatever it takes ‘cause you’re taking him down /6/...he’s tall but he’s slow /7/ you’re small but you’re fast /8/ go toe to toe, but stay below, stay out of his grasp /9/ every movie mistake, and hot take -10- when characters break, trip and fall with Adrenaline shakes-11-Let’s go to the tape, this time, with a critical eye-12-don’t hesitate, this rhyme, might imply-13-you’ve always been there, like Overlook, mind’s eye-14-now it’s your turn, earn your stripes, it’s prime time-15-to shine, like Will Gram—this is my design /16/ What’s his motivation, this killing machine? /13/ What snapped, that he now hunts teens? You really wanna know, OK, I’ll tell ya First came the head wound, then some more trauma /1/ unchecked sadism punished by my mama /2/ disassociation from my psychodrama /3/ let it be known, bad seeds have been sewn /4/ I rose to the throne on a pile of bones /5/ murder, the agenda - no negotiation /6/ I’m a force of nature, or better an aberration /7/ Ahead of the curve, and on the bleeding edge /8/ if this was Vertigo, you’re Stewart, I’m the ledge-/9/ hear that rise in the music—it’s announcing your death /10/ —killing ‘em all, pulling a McBeth /11/ Lady when I’m done, you can’t imagine the mess /12/ I’m the thing of nightmares, cold chills, Lost prayers /13/ let me out of this chair, or blood spills, I swear /14/ beware I’m coming home—like a fatal like disease or syndrome /15/ a Grim tome tells the tale, with no survivors, and no jail /16 Shower scene of the crime, last we see of Janet Leigh Laurie Strode through October, on her way to Halloween Make a left on Elm Street, to dream a little dream With Nancy and the whole Dream Warriors team— While Sydney fights back and Ghostface Screams

about

This 4-track EP was made by a horror fan, for horror fans.

With my cohost Mindy, I am one half of the The Rants Macabre. A podcast about all things horror. We delve into the genre with sharp focus and deep production (think Radiolab about scary movies).

Each track includes the full lyrics to each song.

credits

released June 19, 2020

Darren Rosario, Marton Komlos (additional guitars)

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all rights reserved

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about

DarrenTy Brooklyn, New York

I’m the co-host and A/V Club portion of the Rants Macabre.

I love horror, and I love music. Let's meet in the middle.

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